


Childish and Distracting

by TheRoonilWazzlib



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Crack Crossover, Fun, Inspired by Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), M/M, More like frenemies to lovers really, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Not Beta Read, Not really enemy, Rivals to Friends to Lovers, Steve would do a good Amy, Thick on the references, This Is STUPID, This is going to be so stupid, Tony is a great Jake Peralta, With terribles jokes along the way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27767995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRoonilWazzlib/pseuds/TheRoonilWazzlib
Summary: "It had been a pleasure to watch your distracting childish rivalry, evolve into a distracting childish courtship, into what I'm sure will be a distracting childish marriage."In short, Steve and Tony as cops, starting off as rivals and evolving into something more.Heavily inspired by Brooklyn 99 and Peraltiago
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 13
Kudos: 38





	1. Starting off with bad luck

**Author's Note:**

> Yo !
> 
> I had this in my mind for like, a month now, and I wanted to post it, so here you go, just for funsies ! 
> 
> I still hope you'll like it if you read it ! Don't hesitate to suggest some scenes you want to see from the show !!

-”I believe you may want to add one up to the count, Rogers !” Stark said, smiling with all his teeth. The rest of the room wolf-whistled, watching Steve getting up muttering “I hate this” and erase the previous score under “Stark”, changing 22 into a tiny, tiny 23. Steve was still at 20.  
  
\- “Look at that, I’m winning !” Stark auto clapped himself. “I must admit, it does feel good, yeah.” He added, accepting the praise of the rest of the team.  
  
\- “You haven't won yet, Stark.”  
  
\- “Aha, sorry Steve, I didn’t hear you over the sound of your _saltiness…_ “ He had the balls to wink at him. God.  
  
They all finished debriefing the cases opened, the most important one was being led by Stark. Again. If he let himself be led by his jealousy - not that he would admit ever being jealous of Tony Stark - he would accuse the other detective of having interior help. After all, everyone knew Howard Stark knew the Commissioner, and half of the NYPD by now, and especially Captain Fury, and no one wanted to make him angry. Except… Except Tony didn’t talk to his Dad anymore, and had told Steve in great details after one of their first big fights. So no. He wouldn’t go there. As much as the voice in his dead murmured.  
  
He passed by his desk, leaning on it, pretending to read over his shoulder.  
  
\- “What do you want now, Rogers ?” The other man sing-songed.  
  
\- “Nothing. Just wanted to tell you to enjoy it while it lasts. Because it won’t.”  
  
\- “Yeah, sure, keep believing.” He snorted, before finally looking at the other guy. “By the way, shouldn’t you, you know, work instead of chit-chat, to maybe… Solve some cases ? That would be good, no ?”  
  
\- “Shut up.” He pushed his shoulder lightly and finally went to his own desk, a small smile on his lips. He had two month to one-up Stark in their little bet. And he was going to win, he just knew it.  
  


*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

3 weeks later and fuck. Tony had fucked himself up, hadn’t he ? Because he had… Put his eggs all in one basket or sold something before getting something… No matters how the saying went, Tony had his own way of saying it : He fucked up. Because it had been 2 weeks without any new real solve, any new cases done, and Steve Rogers was now almost 10 points ahead of him.  
  
\- “Stark, how are we in all of you opened cases ?” Fury asked, looking part annoyed at him, part grateful for having the opportunity of annoying him in front of the team.  
  
\- “Well. It’s getting promising… I should be done with some fairly soo-”  
  
\- “No, you’re not. Because you’re in a slump, Stark.” Rogers was all too happy to say, smug and all. Bastard. Attractive bastard…  
  
\- “I’m not. I never hit any slump. I’m in the reverse of a slump. I’m.. Pimuls. That’s the reverse of slump. I’m pimulsing my cases.”  
  
\- “Alright I don’t want to hear more of that nonsense. Dismissed.” Fury said before strolling out the room. Grimacing, Tony was getting up when Rogers went all up in his personnal space.  
  
\- “You’re slumping, Stark. Look at the scoreboard.” He said, in a low voice, almost in his ear, and god that was attractive. Damn Steve. Without adding anything else, he smiled and went away. Why the fuck was Tony shivering uh ?  
  
\- “I can solve a case for you, Stark if you want.” The voice of Natasha in his back made him jump.  
  
\- “Stop.. Stop doing that Natasha, I already told you-”  
  
\- “The case of you being in love with Rogers.” She said, a small smile, crossing her arms.  
  
\- “Ridiculous. You’re just… That’s ridiculous now.” He huffed and went away, strolling at his desk and trying to finally get a case done.  
  
  
The day later, when he was nowhere close to getting anything done, and bad luck was just pilling on him - In order, he burned his diner, broke his phone, arrived late at work, and a civilian had just spilled a coffee on him (by accident.. He hoped) -, he slumped at his desk, banging his head against it. Fuck his lifeeeee.  
  
\- “Hey there pal.” The voice of Clint broke him out of his misery for a short break. “You don’t look so good today.”  
  
\- “Just. Kill me Clint, now, please. My bad luck is getting worse, and worse, and I think I might end up in a destination finale like situation if no one stops it. Do something.”  
  
\- “Nah. I’m not going to kill my favorite co-worker, I’m not a savage.”  
  
\- “Aw, I’m your fave ? That’s nice.”  
  
\- “Yeah, Natasha’s too scary, Steve’s too righteous, Bruce’s too nice, and Coulson and Fury are my bosses so…”  
  
\- “You’re diminishing the effect if you justify it Barton.” Tony shook his head. “Anyway. If you do not want to kill me, please kindly fuck off.”  
  
\- “I could maybe be persuaded, Tony.” Natasha said, passing by. He smiled to her.  
  
\- “See, that’s what friends are for !” Pointing Natasha to Clint.  
  
\- “No, no wait !” Clint raised his hands. “I may not kill you, but I may end up your bad luck. Here, take the rabbit foot.”  
  
\- “What. The. Fuck. Barton.” He replied, since Clint had literally just given him a rabbit foot. A real one. God. On a key-chain ? What the fuck.  
  
\- “It’s for good luck ! You rub it, yeah ? Like so.” He made a show of it. “And your luck’s going to improve.”  
  
\- “I don’t want your voodoo magic, Barton, especially since it won’t work.” He groaned. Fuck his day. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  


\- “You’re benched Stark.” Was all Fury said, before he could even sit properly at his desk the day after.  
  
\- “What ?!”  
  
\- “Disaster after disaster, we can’t have that. You’ll digitize files until your luck..” He threw a look at the rabbit’s foot, still on his desk. “Turns.” He turned around and went in his office.  
  
\- “Fuck !”  
  
\- “It could be worse.” Said gently Bruce, patting his shoulder. “Why is your shirt wet, Tony ?” He frowned.  
  
\- “Because a fucking pigeon pooped on me and I had to rinse it off !”  
  
\- “Ah.” Was all Bruce added, before scurrying off.  
  
Tony slumped against his desk, again. The desk across him was Steve’s. He watched him work at his computer for 2 minutes, before realizing. He suddenly got up and pointed at Steve.  
  
\- “You !” The guy in question, startled and looked at Tony like he was the reincarnation of fucking Gabriel or whatnot.  
  
\- “Me ?”  
  
\- “Yeah you ! You did voodoo on me ! Admit it !”  
  
\- “Tony I..” Steve was actually blinking in confusion, like he hadn’t watched his descent in hell the last few weeks.  
  
\- “I’m serious, you were mad I was winning so you sold your virgin blood or something like that !” That made him blush. Was it a mad-blush or a shy-blush uh ?  
  
\- “You’re being crazy, Stark.” He shook his head and turned it around to look at his screen. Well. Maybe a mad-blush. Oups.  
  
Sighting, Tony sat again, and opened the software to begin his tedious work. He hated being benched. This was the worst. 

  
*** * * * * * * * * * * *** **  
**

Steve was still working the next day, when a box of donuts was put - almost thrown - on his desk, rather loudly. He looked up to see Tony, looking disheveled, but still gorgeous. Damn the bastard.  
  
\- “What do you want, Stark ?” He was still mad after yesterday’s words. Sometimes Tony could just be the king of assholes.  
  
\- “To apologize.” He pushed the box toward him, like he was making a point. When Steve raised his eyebrows expectantly, he sighed but continued. “I shouldn’t have said you were a virgin and that you did voodoo on me.” He shrugged and looked somewhere else than in Steve’s eyes. Knowing Tony, it was almost a damn miracle he had even said the words “sorry”.  
  
\- “Fine. Apologies accepted.” He took a donut, and bit with delight. Tony always bringed the best. “So. Is your bad luck stream ended ?”  
  
\- “It is, actually.” He smiled. “Turned out being bored at my desk rebooted my brain. I solved 2 cases yesterday and I think a third is close to being done. So don’t count on victory just yet, Rogers.” He wiggled his eyebrows, backing up while still looking at him. “I’m not out of the gam-” He was stopped abruptly when he collided with Clint, deep in his phone. They both fell. It was great.  
  
Of course Steve would not count his eggs before they hatched. Tony would always give him a bit of a challenge.  
That’s why he liked him after all. 


	2. 48 hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again ! 
> 
> I don't know what to think of what I write for this fanfic, it's mostly dialogue and interactions, but I still hope you like it !

-”Hey ! Captain !” Tony entered the office, smiling at Fury like there was no tomorrow. Which there probably wasn’t, since Fury was surely about to kill him.    
  
\- “What do you want, Stark ?” He didn’t even look at him.   
  
\- “So. Good news on the robbery in 54th street, I found the culprit, an perp I already took down 2 years ago, fresh out of prison, same MO... “    
  
\- “Good. So why bother coming in here if it’s already solved ? You want me to pat you on the back ?”    
  
\- “Well…” Tony grimaced. Fury finally looked at him and frowned. “I may.. Mh. I may have arrested him already.”   
  
\- “I guess you already have all the proofs you need ?”    
  
\- “Weeeelll….” He grimaced more. “I may have… Jumped a bit.. Put the horses before the.. Thing… Or the thing before the horses I don’t remember the say-”   
  
\- “You what ?! You arrested him without proof ?” Fury got up.    
  
\- “Look, I know it’s him ! And I will prove it, I just have to do it-”    
  
\- “In less that 48 hours. Before we have to let him go.” Fury looked… Furious. No pun intended.   
  
\- “Yeahhhh…” Tony wrinkled his nose at the prospect. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

The squad was reunited in the briefing room. Tony just knew he was about to get hate, it was a fact, but he kind of deserved it. Even if he would never admit it.    
  
\- “Alright squad. I know you all had plans for the week-end, but thanks to Detective Stark, they are cancelled. You are to stay here for the next 48 hours to help him with his burglary case.”    
  
\- “What did you do, Stark ?!” Steve groaned, glaring at him. Meh, expected, like he just said.    
  
\- “I arrested the right guy !”    
  
\- “But ?” Clint squinted at him.   
  
\- “I may have done it without any… Real proofs.” He grimaced when all of his collegues boo-ed him.    
  
\- “I can’t believe you !” Steve looked mad. Oops. “For once I had a date and now you just ruined the whole week-end.”    
  
\- “Wow, then I’m really, truly sorry.” Tony put a hand on his heart. “I can’t believe I destroyed something as rare as a true miracle.”    
  
\- “You don’t get to make jokes, Stark, you’re the worst.” Natasha said.    
  
\- “Nat, I’m vexed…”    
  
\- “You deserved way worse than being vexed, asshole.”    
  
\- “Alright, enough.” Fury cut them. “I know you’re all mad at Stark for ruining your week-end.”    
  
\- “But ?” Tony rose a brow, when nothing else came after.   
  
\- “But nothing. I was demonstrating what a fact is. Dismissed.”    
  
They all got out of the room, not without throwing another glare or jab at Tony. Especially Steve. Fair, fair. But Tony was sure he had the right guy. He could bet his right hand on it. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

5 hours later, and maybe, just maybe, Tony was glad he really didn’t bet his right hand on it. The perp didn’t want to let nothing go, the whole team looked mad, and Steve was giving him the silent treatment. Trying to be nice, he got them all fancy coffee.    
  
\- “You’re not going to buy us, Stark.” Not so silent anymore. But he was still glaring, even as he took a sip.    
  
\- “Meh, it works well enough for me. Thanks Tony.” Clint said, smiling, before sipping his own cup.    
  
\- “It's still a ruined week-end over nothing.” Muttered Steve. Ouch. That hurt a bit.    
  
\- “C’mon, Steve.” Natasha said. “Tony’s hunches are almost always right, aren’t they ? So not over nothing.”    
  
\- “Hanw, thanks Nat’.” He smiled.    
  
\- “You’re not out of the wood yet, Stark. Over nothing maybe, but still a ruined week-end. I still hate you.”    
  
\- “Fair’s fair, Romanov.” He put his hands up in a peace gesture, before going back to his desk. Rogers one was the joined one.    
  
So at least he could always have a therapy glaring. It seemed to work.    
  
\- “So, you had a date uh ?” He tried.   
  
\- “Yes. I said it before, good job on listening. What a detective.”    
  
\- “Kind of deserve that, I guess. No but seriously, I didn’t know you were in the dating game.”    
  
\- “I’m not really.” He shrugged. See, therapy glaring, working technique. Steve seemed a bit less mad already. “Darcy set it up for me.”    
  
\- “Oooh. Darcy. You’re trusting Darcy. Bold move here.”    
  
\- “Shut it. You can’t judge anything. Your dates are not good.”    
  
\- “Right.”    
  
\- “And you’re the cause mine’s cancelled so. Really shut up.”    
  
\- “I will.” 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

The morning was not a great one. Tony had a crank in the neck that would probably take a few days to wear off. He wished he had some spare clothes somewhere. He hated his life. He went to look at some bank receipt, and suddenly noticed something. He tapped Steve’s shoulder, who was still slumped over his desk, and the only response was a groan.   
  
\- “You should reschedule your date for tonight. You’ll be able to make it.”    
  
\- “What ?” Steve finally lifted his head, frowning. He was looking a bit rumpled, but his blue eyes were still one of the most gorgeous thing Tony had ever seen.    
  
\- “Your date. You’ll go tonight.” He agitated the papers in his hand in front of Steve’s nose, before trotting toward the interrogation room. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * * ***

\- “So. Mh. Stevie. Steve-o. Ste-”   
  
\- “What is it, Stark ?” The guy had the phone in hand, and was smiling a minute ago. But now that smile had come right off his face. Oh no.    
  
\- “Sooooo…. Maybe my perp had mh. Real convincing arguments… Against my convincing arguments… So. Erh yeah.” He scratched the back of his neck.   
  
\- “Are you serious ? You told me to reschedule without even closing your damn case ?”    
  
\- “I mean, there’s still time before tonight ! Maybe I’ll have him !”    
  
Barton clapped his back.    
  
\- “He just called his lawyer. Can’t ask him any more questions until the guy is here. So.. Yeah.”    
  
Okay. So. That was bad. Really bad. Steve just shook his head at him and left. Real bad.    
  
\- “Relax, Tony. Maybe he’ll forget about it in a few days.”    
  
\- “Yeah, yeah, I know.” He shrugged. “I don’t care anyway.”    
  
\- “Sure.” Barton patted his shoulder before leaving to get to his own desk.    
  
He didn’t know why anyone was keeping with the whole “you like him” charade. Tony gave Steve shit, and Steve gave him right back. They were frenemies, like the kids were saying. Nothing more. The challenge both made them be better cops. That was all. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

After talking to the perp’s lawyer, Tony felt about ready to just bang his head into a wall until oblivion. He would have deserved it, anyway. That’s when Bruce said they had retrieved the video footage from a store facing up the jewellery. Well, that could maybe save him. Steve came with him to look at it.    
  
\- “So. Is your date mad that you cancelled a second time ?”    
  
\- “I don’t know. She still hasn’t responded.” He sighed. God, Tony was feeling bad. He hated that. Damn Steve and those damn feelings. “Should have guessed though, that it wouldn’t go right in the end. Because it’s impossible to date when you’re a cop.”   
  
\- “Hey, I date.”    
  
\- “No. You sleep around Tony.” Well. He had a point. He tried to counter that point, but nothing came to mind. When was the last time he had really, truly, dated ? Uh. Nevermind.   
  
\- “Anyway. Don’t be too gloomy. Your perfect someone’s out there.” He stopped goofing around, stopping the video cam right at the perfect moment and… “Fuck.” It wasn’t his perp. Rolling his eyes, he printed the photo. “Look, Steve. Your perfect someone.”    
  
\- “Shut your face, Stark.” He punched his arm, smiling. Finally.   
  
\- “Nah, I’m serious. Look.” He put the photo in front of his face, and made a silly voice. “Steeeve. Look at me Steve. Soulmates are real, and I’m yours. Me and my dumb soulpatch.”   
  
\- “Not so different from your facial hair, Stark.”    
  
He immediately took off the photo and stared at Steve.    
  
\- “You take that back.”    
  
\- “Nah, don’t think I will. Look.” He pointed at the picture.    
  
\- “Yeah, yeah, I’m looking, and it’s very, super diff..” He trailed off. That face was familiar ? Why ? “Fuck !” He got up, and sprinted out of the room.   
  
\- “Hey, where are you going ?” Steve asked, but he was too busy being an amazing cop to respond. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

He approached Steve, all happy and cheerful.    
  
\- “You should get the fuck out and get ready for your date.” He smiled.    
  
\- “What ?”   
  
\- “I called your date. Explained everything to her. So she’s waiting for you at seven at that nice pizzeria you talked about.”    
  
\- “Really ?” Steve looked surprised. But happy. That was nice.   
  
\- “Yeah. I’m amazing. Now fuck off.” He said, with no bites, smiling with all his teeth. He was really proud of himself. 

-”Sorry for screwing up everyone’s week-end.” He added toward the room, while everyone was gathering up their stuff. He hated the word sorry in his mouth, god. “C’mon, drinks on me ?” He was met with various “No”, justification, and groans. “C’mon !”   
  
\- “Everyone’s tired, Stark. Let them go home.” Fury said, an eyebrow raised.    
  
\- “Yeah but I have to prove I’m not a selfish asshole, so I don’t care what they want.” He was met with stares. “Yeah that sounded bad..” He sighed. “Alright, how about… To make up for everything, I’ll cover one shift each ?”    
  
\- “Finally you don’t deserve death anymore.” Nat smiled, clapping his shoulder before getting in the elevator.    
  
\- “Yeah I’m nice. Oh, except you Rogers, I got your date back.”    
  
\- “What ?”    
  
\- “Yeah, I got you your date back. One nice thing from me is all you get.”    
  
He wasn’t going to be soft now, after all. Frenemies and all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Not a doctor !)
> 
> Take care !


	3. Halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!  
> So this chapter is super long but it's Halloween, I had to! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> (not much Stony in this one but I still had to.. Right ?)

Tony was humming Nightmare Before Christmas (because of course), when Steve had to duck to avoid a slap from an inebriated asshole who was passing by.    
  
\- “I hate Halloween.” He grumbled, letting himself fall on his chair.   
  
\- “Of course you do, Sourpatch. Of course you do.” He chuckled, signing his paperwork.    
  
\- “It’s a dumb holiday ! It doesn’t even  _ deserve _ the title of a holiday. People just get drunk and act like wearing a costume is all they need before acting like assholes. And what’s with the sexy takes on every costume for women ?”    
  
\- “Yes, Steve, that’s the most terrible part. Women being sexy on the streets. Please make them stop ?” He pouted.    
  
\- “Oh shut your face.”    
  
They were interrupted by Clint, opening his arms and showing off his “costume”. That was a lot of green, that’s for sure.    
  
\- “Look Steve, Halloween isn’t all bad uh ? What do you think of my ‘stume ?”    
  
\- “‘Stume ?” Tony frowned, even for him it was taking it a step too far.    
  
\- “Yeah, short for costume. ‘stume. It’s cool.”    
  
\- “It isn’t.” He replied.    
  
\- “And what are you supposed to be”, Natasha asked, passing by with a cup of coffee. “Adult and maybe pedophile Peter Pan ?”    
  
\- “Of course not !” He whined, looking pained. “I’m obviously Robin Hood ?”    
  
\- “Robin Hood was a criminal, even if it was for the good, Clint.” Bruce said.    
  
\- “Looking like that is enough of a crime already, in any case.” Tony said. Natasha high-fived him, smiling.    
  
\- “Oh come on ! You guys are always mean with my costumes !”    
  
\- “Because they are mostly bad.” Tony shrugged. “Just do sexy costumes and we’ll stop shitting on you.”    
  
\- “But Darcy will be on you. All night.” Steve warned.   
  
\- “I totally will. Can’t you just be Edward from Twilight, Clint ? The shirtless version ?” She said from her desk, looking at him.    
  
\- “You guys are the worst.” He stumped away, defeated. Even Steve was smiling a bit now. Job accomplished. (He didn’t do shit, but still, he would take credit.)   
  


*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

Two hours later into the shift and he kind of changed his mind.    
  
\- “You were right, it is the worst.” He grimaced. “It’s too easy ! They’re all so dumb today.”    
  
\- “I’m sorry Stark, do you think the criminals should do better ?” Fury made him jump, talking right behind him. He turned around, not without throwing a glare at smily-Steve, who hadn’t warned him of their boss’s presence.    
  
\- “Well, at least they could try. I mean I’ll surely be a better criminal than them like, so easily.”    
  
\- “Really ?” Fury crossed his arms. He looked intimidating. It didn’t work on Tony, but still, he could admit the fact.   
  
\- “Yeah. I would be able to steal stuff without getting caught like, so easily.”    
  
\- “You’re so sure about that ?”   
  
\- “Yeah. I could prove it to you.”    
  
\- “I’m sure you would get caught, Stark. Better yet, you wouldn’t even manage to steal anything.”    
  
Whistles were heard. Tony was pretty sure it was mostly Clint, Darcy, and maybe Natasha. He wouldn’t raise to the bait though. He wouldn’t. He was an adult now.    
  
\- “Challenge, accepted.” So. He rose to the bait. No big deal.    
  
\- “I didn’t even challenge you, Stark.”    
  
\- “Fine, I’m challenging you ! What’s the most precious thing you got in your office ?”    
  
\- “My medal of valor.”    
  
\- “God. Being so heroic must be a pain.” He rolled his eyes. “I bet you I can steal it from you before…” He looked at his watch. “Midnight, tonight.”    
  
\- “And why would I engage in such idiocy ?”    
  
\- “Because you want to prove you’re right, of course ! And… I’ll do 5 week-end shifts. No overtime.”    
  
\- “And if you.. Somewhat manage to win ?”    
  
\- “You’ll do my paperwork for tonight. The busiest of the year ! And… Declare me an awesome detective slash genius.” He raised his eyebrows, lifting his hand to make the deal.    
  
\- “Alright.” He shook his hand.    
  
\- “Awesome !” He grinned, shook Fury’s hand, and sat once the Captain had departed toward his office.   
  
\- “You do realize you’re dead, right ?” Steve said, looking at him with gleaming eyes.   
  
\- “Don’t underestimate me, Rogers. It’s very unbecoming of you.” He frowned.    
  
\- “Your funeral. Say goodbye to dates for the next five weeks. You’ll have too much work.” He smiled, getting up to go probably be a bore somewhere else.   
  
\- “Once again, underestimate me, Rogers !”    
  
\- “Don’t think I am.” He called, before leaving the room.    
  
He definitely was. Now Tony just had to go to work and put his brilliant plan in motion.    


*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
\- “Heyyy. Darcy. Darce. Darce-Darce-Binks. How you doiiiing ?” He asked, leaning against her desk.   
  
\- “If you think I’m going to help you rob him, Tony, you’re way off. I’m too busy.”    
  
\- “Doing what ?” He looked at her desk. “Paper airplanes ?”    
  
\- “It’s origami. Calming for the nerves. It’s a very stressful work.”    
  
\- “Uh, really ? Anywayyyys.”   
  
\- “I said no.”   
  
\- “Come on, Darcy.”   
  
\- “Fine.” She nodded.   
  
\- “Wow. Easy to convince you but I won’t complain ! So ? What’s the Captain schedule today ?”   
  
\- “He has a reunion in ten minutes.”    
  
\- “Goood. So. He’ll be out of his office, uh ?”    
  
\- “Yes. Well, he is already out.”   
  
\- “Oh reaall-Aah !” He jumped out of the desk, seeing Fury right behind him.    
  
\- “Did you really think it would be this easy ?”    
  
\- “What ? What are you talking about. Of course not. I was totally planning something else with Darcy.” He still had a hand on his heart. Was he cardiac or something like that ? Uh. He could almost hear her shake her hand and try not to laugh.   
  
\- “Well, it won’t be. I put my medal in a safe, its combinaison only known to me. And I locked that safe in a cabinet. Of which the only key is on me.”   
  
\- “Uh. Good. Good. All part of the plan.”    
  
\- “I’m sure.” He was actually smiling when he turned around to leave.   
  
\- “Did you see that ? I’m not crazy, right, he actually smiled ?”    
  
\- “He did.” Darcy nodded. “You’re toast, Tones. Toast..”    
  
\- “Yeah..” He sighed.    
  


*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  
Fury couldn’t help but roll his eyes, when he saw what was obviously Stark, in a janitor’s outfit, back to the windows, in his office. Sometimes he wondered why he was still in the squad. Then he remembered that sometimes, Stark wasn’t half bad.    
  
\- “Stark. Get out of there.”    
  
\- “Uuuh. Fine. Fine.”    
  
He turned around and got out of the small room, revealing a ridiculous fake mustache. He heard the noise of Darcy’s phone taking a picture.    
  
\- “ Did you really thought it would work ?”   
  
\- “It did work. This janitor getup was designed to not work. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices, in order to win.” He gestured at himself.    
  
\- “Uh, your grammar.” Steve grimaced.    
  
\- “Shut up.” He pointed at him.   
  
\- “You could at least have made a distraction..”   
  
\- “I did. It was mistimed. Sadly..” They both jumped when a fire caught in a nearby trash can. “Oh my god, Captain ! A fire ! Everyone, careful, there’s a fire ! You should go do that, Captain, for at least like, 10 minutes ? I’ll be in your office.” He made a gesture to go back into it.    
  
Fury just stared at him. Almost a glare. Meanwhile, Banner put out the fire and rolled his eyes at Stark.   
  
\- “Fine. Have it your way.” He sighed and gave the broom to Fury, before leaving.   
  


*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  
\- “Captaiiiiiin. Come and see.” Darcy called. So he went.    
  
He was put in the middle of dancing royals babies and Stark, wearing a cape and a crown. That was the most disturbing thing he may have ever witnessed.    
  
A minute later, he caught Stark trying to duplicate his key that he had found missing.    
  
\- “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice ?”   
  
\- “Well.” Whined Stark. “I kind of hoped.”   
  
\- “You’re a disaster.”    
  
\- “But you love me.” He was met with a silence as Fury was exiting the room. “Captain ! You love me right ?!”    
  


*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  
\- “Captain !” Rogers barged into his office. “It’s T-Stark. He got arrested.”    
  
\- “Doing what ?!” That was the cherry on top.   
  
\- “Climbing the side of the building with a blowtorch apparently ?!”   
  
It didn’t even deserve any sigh. Fury was starting to think Stark had knocked his head previously in the evening and had lost all brain cells.    
He followed Steve to the interrogation room where they put him. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  
  
\- “What were you doing climbing the side of the building with a blowtorch ?”    
  
\- “That I had more cardio. Seriously, I was out of breath so fast.” Tony was still smiling, as Fury sat in front of him.   
  
\- “Seriously. I knew you would lose, tonight. But now I’m starting to doubt your intelligence and capacities. Today was a fiasco for you, Stark.”    
  
\- “Hurtful.” He wrinkled his nose. “But you’re underestimating me, Captain.”    
  
\- “I’m not. It’s five minutes ‘til midnight, and you’re handcuffed to a table.”

  
\- “Alright. Let me tell you a story.” He put his head on his hands. “You remember when I asked Darcy for help ?”   
  
\- “Yes, that was 6 hours ago.”    
  
\- “It didn’t go well. But that gave me the idea for the Janitor Plot.”   
  
\- “It didn’t go well either. I caught you.” Pointed Fury, with the smallest of tug on the corner of his lips.    
  
\- “You caught me, yes. But you didn’t catch Natasha.” He smiled even a bit more. “Whose so great at picking locks. Seriously, amazing.” He was so savouring this. “And the trash can ? Well. It wasn’t mistimed. It was perfect. And gave her the opportunity to go out of your office, undetected.”    
  
\- “Continue.” He said, his jaw locked.   
  
\- “The baby dance worked just as well. You noticed your key going missing, but not Bruce, stealing your phone. That’s right ! Even Bruce’s on this. We dusted your phone for the number’s most used, thus your password. Since you’re old, the deduction would be that you use the same passcode for everything.” Aha. Fury was getting it.    
  
\- “And I took my sweet time telling you this. Because while you were busy, Clint entered your office via the vents, and tried every combination of the four numbers. I asked Rogers to make you come here, since you would trust him the most, he’s usually too righteous to participate.” And midnight rang, at least on his little adventure time watch. He loved that thing. “He’s either holding your medal of valor on the other side of that door, or…”    
  
Fury got up and opened. Clint was there, holding out the medal. He simply took it, and closed the door, almost in Clint's smiling face.    
  
\- “How did you do it ? Manage to make everyone help you ?”    
  
\- “Ah, well, I made a great spee-”   
  
\- “Stark.” He cut him, glaring for real this time.    
  
\- “Fine. I promised them I would do all of their paperwork for tonight. But since you’re doing all of mine..” He shrugged, smiling.    
  
\- “Uh.” Fury looked a bit stumped. That was a great feeling. But he suddenly left, and Clint started talking and leaving with him, and Tony was left here, handcuffed.    
  
\- “Uuuh ? Captain ! You left me here !”    
  
Darcy entered. With an expression worthy of a cat getting a canary.   
  
\- “My oh my, Tony, handcuffed to a table..”    
  
\- “Darcy.” He growled.   
  
\- “Fine. You’re no fun.” She still took her sweet time getting him free.  
  
  


*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  
\- “Soo. Captain. I believe you have an announcement to make.” He said, smiling with all his teeth, at the little after party they were having.   
  
\- “I do.” Fury rolled his eyes, and waited for everyone to quiet down. “Anthony Stark,” He seemed to take pleasure in using his full name. The bastard. “Is an amazing detective slash genius.” He sighed. “And now, I have paperwork to do.” He was halfway to the exit, smiling - as much as Fury could smile - when he added. “Good work team.”    
  
They all looked at each other, surprised by the compliment. At least he wasn’t a sore loser.    
  
\- “Heard that everyone ? I’m the best !”    
  
But Tony Stark was definitely a poor winner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care!


	4. Thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ! Here we are with thanksgiving ! 
> 
> Btw, if Tony 99% Jake, Steve 99% Amy, Fury 98% obviously Holt, Darcy 99% Gina and Natasha 100% Rosa, Clint and Bruce are a bit of a mix between Boyle and Sarge. Depends on what I'm feeling, on the quote, and if it fits. Hope it isn't too bad !

-”Happy Turkey day !” Clint said, smiling from ear to ear while entering the bullpen. Most of everyone chuckled. 

\- “Yes.” Tony muttered, a manic grin on his face. 

\- “What ?” Clint frowned, and tried to take a peek at what was on the sheet on his desk. “What’s that ?” 

\- “Nothing.” Tony cried, almost throwing himself onto the desk to protect the paper from view (like a four year old child, Steve would say). 

\- “You can’t ruin Pilgrim’s day like that.” Whined Clint (like the other four year old that he was, Steve would also say.) 

\- “Don’t pout.” Natasha said. “We’re playing Barton Bingo.” 

\- “Natasha !” Tony protested. “It’s cheating to reveal the game ! You should be cut out !” 

\- “It’s nowhere in the rules, Stark. Be a good player, for once.” Steve said. Tony blew him a kiss in return. 

\- “The fuck is Barton Bingo ?” Clint was looking dumb founded. 

\- “You're predictable, Barton. Sorry to tell ya.” Tony shrugged. “Might as well have some fun with it. We filled out bingo cards with things we thought you might say or do during the day. First one to complete it gets 100 bucks.”

\- “You can’t do that !” 

\- “Barton objects to the Barton Bingo.” Natasha said, with an exaggerated gesture while she crossed another box. 

\- “Stop it ! You can’t do that ! Steve, do something !” 

\- “Barton asks me for help... “ Steve only answered, ticking another box off. 

\- “I have Barton says gobble gobble gobble on my card.” 

\- “Well now that I know you want me to say that, I won’t say it. I’ll just say gobble gobble…” Everyone looked at him, and he seemed to hold his breath. But he finally murmured : “Gobble.” Everyone snickered while ticking off another box. “It doesn’t sound right without the third one !” 

\- “Sure, Clint.” Bruce said, calmly. Even him was participating. It doesn’t hurt anyone, he said, when everyone had looked surprised when he asked for a card. 

\- “Fine ! You’re just a big group of assholes.” He went to sit, huffing and puffing, and missed his chair. He looked kind of stupid, there, on the floor, but no one was too worried. He was a good cop, sure. While he was working, he was precise and almost lethal. But when he wasn’t, sometimes Clint was just that. Stupid. And kind of clumsy. 

\- “No one had Barton fall on his ass or anything close to that ?” Tony asked, looking at everyone shaking his head.” 

\- “Ah !” He said, jumping on his feet with renewed vigour. “Boom !” 

\- “Barton says Boom !” They all said in unison, smiling at their card. 

\- “Big, big assholes.” Clint muttered, finally sitting properly on his chair.”

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

-”Heyyy you lazy dogs !” Tony arrived, smiling like a lunatic. (When wasn’t he, recently) “What are you doing- You know what, I don’t care, let me tell you about the awesome drug bust I just made !” He put up a big bag of cocaïne in the air. 

\- “Evidence are not props nor toys, Stark.” Fury groaned, without looking, reading a paper with Bruce. 

\- “Oups. Hadn’t seen the Captain there.” He handed the drug to be properly put away, and turned to face Steve. 

\- “At least you finished early. Gives you enough time to go change for my thanksgiving diner.” 

\- “What ? M’not gonna change.” He shook his head. He had a jean and shirt, and that was good enough. “It’s Thanksgiving, no point in dressing up.” 

\- “There’s a point, it’s a nice holiday, we’re all having a nice team diner…”

\- “Nope, going to cut you there Rogers, it’s a garbage holiday that I don’t even celebrate, but someone-” He glared at Fury who acted like nothing was going on. “Decided that I had to go. Team spirit and all. So I’m going, but I won’t “dress up”. He smiled. “In fact, it’s quite dumb to dress up. The whole purpose of it is to eat, so we should just wear sweatpants.” 

\- “Shirt and tie. It’s non-negociable. Even Natasha’s going to make an effort.” 

\- “Natasha doesn’t need to make any efforts, she always looks good.” Tony rolled his eyes. 

\- “Thanks, Stark.” She smiled at him. She was indeed making an effort though, he noticed, since she wore one of those fancy dresses. 

\- “Stop it. Just wear a damn tie !” 

Tony simply shrugged and went toward Fury.

\- “Captain, can I talk to you ?” Fury nodded and they went into his office. But as soon as the door was closed, he cut Tony out of all hopes.

\- “I’m not giving you a case, Stark. There’s nothing else going on today. The night team is almost here. You will be at Rogers diner, you will wear a tie since he asked you, and that’s it.” 

\- “But captain..” He started, but was cut once again.

\- “Do I have to make it into an order ?” 

\- “Uh. Fine.” He shook his head and took off toward his desk. 

Fucking Fury and fucking Rogers for thinking that garbage holiday was somewhat important. Uh. Steve looked at him, like he knew what he had tried, and failed, to do.

\- “And don’t forget your toast. What are you thankful for, Stark ?”

\- “At the present ? Nothing really.” He glared at Steve, who only smiled. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

-”So.. Steve. Do you take your dates up here on the first night ?” Darcy asked, with her weird “I’m mocking you but you don’t have proof so you have to keep up with it but the blow will come sooner than later”. 

\- “Uh, no, why ?” Steve frowned. 

\- “Just trying to find an explanation for why you’re single.. The body is here, the personality is a bit much but not a deal breaker… But the flat right out of the forties might be just it.” 

\- “Hey !” Dear, Steve was blushing. Natasha almost snorted. “I like vintage..” He added, with somewhat of guilt lacing in his voice. 

\- “When are we eating ?” Clint whined from the couch. Natasha and Bruce ticked another box off their bingo. Clint was always hungry. 

\- “Tony’s not here.” Of course Stark would be late. He just had to ruin everything. 

\- “He will be here.” Bruce said, with a small smile. And just as Steve was about to say that maybe the jerk wouldn’t, a knock at the door cut him short. 

\- “Hey, sorry to be late.” He said, entering and pushing a box into Steve’s arm. He was still wearing his dumb clothes, but at least he was there. When Steve opened the box, he found pie. So at least, he had been kind of nice and thoughtful enough to bring desert. 

\- “It’s alright.” He said, and putting the pie away, he announced that they could all eat. 

But right when they were about to toast to thanksgiving (with a sour-looking Tony), Bruce’s phone went off. He went to pick up, and came back a minute later.

\- “They need me back at the precinct, something just came up.” 

\- “I’ll come with.” Tony announced almost immediately grabbing his coat. 

\- “You don’t have to…”

\- “Don’t worry about it. I’ll drive.” He smiled, muttered an apology to Steve and without letting anyone think too much, they were off. 

\- “So… Can we eat now ?” Clint tried. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

Tony was annoying the shit out of him tonight. And he tried, tried again to not snap, but after a while of Tony trying to find excuses to prolong their little case (stolen money from the evidence lock), Bruce snapped.

\- “What is your problem with Thanksgiving, for god’s sake ?!” 

\- “What ? Nothing, I told you, I just don’t like it.” 

\- “No, stop it. There’s something more. If you just didn’t like it, you wouldn’t piss off your friends who just ask you to stay with them for a nice meal. So spill, Stark, before I really lose my cool.” 

No one wanted to see Bruce angry. He was the coolest of guys, really, doing meditation, drinking herbal tea and all around a really nice and chill dude. Except when he got really angry. It was like a big rage monster was taking his place and the recipient usually regretted having pissed him off bad. So Tony just uttered a long suffering sigh, and talked. 

\- “Fine. My problem with that stupid holiday it that it’s supposed to be a family thing. And when I was very little, I had my butler, Jarvis. Him and his wife would always make me eat the greatest of turkeys and would be great. But then, they died, and since then I've just eaten pizza home alone. Sometimes with friends, but I just don’t like it. It’s not the same. I don’t have a family, I don’t have much to be really thankful for, so it annoys me.” 

He finished his little speech by crossing his arm, and really pouting like a child. Sometimes Bruce wondered how he hadn’t gone mad because of his colleagues before. 

\- “You done ?” He looked at his friend. “What you just said is kind of a dumb story. The joy of being an adult is that you can make a family. And don’t you dare look at me with those eyes-” He stopped Tony before he could even try. “I’m not talking about a wife and kids and the whole picket fence deal. I’m saying you can choose your family. Your friends can be your family, dumbass. And I think some of us really want to have you in theirs.” He pushed Tony lightly. 

Tony looked at him, biting his lip in silence. But after a while, he made another sigh.

\- “I hate when you’re right, oh wise-yogi Bruce-chan or whatever.” He rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll come and be thankful.”

\- “Good. And you’re gonna change too. Steve asked you to put on a tie, for god’s sake. Try to romance the man a little.” 

Bruce took his reward in the form of Tony blushing, sputtering in denial, and finally obeying, in a sulking silence. Bless the small mercy. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

Clint almost rushed to the door when the knocks were heard. He literally grabbed Tony by the vest and Bruce by the arm, throwing them inside without really looking at them.

\- “See ? They’re here ! We can eat !” 

But he wasn’t met with “yes, Clint, we can”, like he hoped, but by Darcy wolf-whistle and Natasha appreciative look. Confused, he looked around, and finally got that it wasn’t directed to him. Tony had changed, and was wearing black jeans (but tight ones, this time), a white shirt, a black vest and a red tie. And as much as straight was sereine in his straight-ness, he had to admit. Yowza. 

\- “Yes, Clint, we can eat…” Steve trailed off, coming out of the kitchen and blinking while seeing Tony. God, he had it bad.

\- “Finally listened to you.” Tony said, throwing his hands up in a mock-surrender. 

\- “Listen to Steve more often, Tony, please !” Darcy said, eating him with her eyes. 

\- “Keep it in your pants, Darcy.” Bruce laughed, getting seated. They all did. 

\- “Alright, so mh… We can maybe skip the toasts since we’ve been waiting..” 

\- “Hanw, too bad, I wanted to do one.” Tony laughed. 

\- “Don’t.” Clint glared, already grabbing some mashed potatoes. “Or do while I eat.” 

\- “Fine.” Tony shrugged. “I’m just… Thankful for our family. With my wise brother,” He looked at Bruce; “My dumb one,” he looked at Clint, his cheeks already full of food like a hamster; “My scary sister,” Of course Natasha smiled at that; “And my crazy one. Who’s from Alabama.” He winked at Darcy, and they all laughed. 

\- “Fine.” Clint gulped. “But who’s Steve ?” 

\- “Uh ?” Tony seemed to have forgotten about him. “Our… Dad ? Nanny ? I don’t know. We can’t have two wise brothers.” He shrugged.

\- “You can just say it, if you wanna call him daddy.” Darcy said. 

That had the wonderful effect of making both Tony and Steve flush red like tomatoes, while Tony tried to deny the claim. Clint threw a knowing look at Natasha. Maybe one day, they’ll finally understand they have it bad for each other.

\- “By the way ?” Natasha cut everyone. “I finished my Barton Bingo.” She showed her card. “Last one was “Barton becomes hangry.” 

\- “Fuck you all.” Clint responded, before putting more food into his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Not a doctor !)
> 
> Take care !


	5. The Bet (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ! I decided to cut The Bet in half, because it would have been truly too long if not. (especially compared to the other chapters)
> 
> I hope you like it !! Part 2 will be posted tomorrow :)

Today was the day. Today was everything he had been waiting for. Today was the end of the bet. He proudly marched into the bullpen, when Steve stopped him. God, the tension was unreal. That didn’t stop him though, and he smirked to his heart’s content.  
  
\- “Stark.” Wow, Steve was almost growling. He was afraid. Good.   
  
\- “Rogers.”   
  
\- “The bet ends today.”   
  
\- “I know.”   
  
\- “It’s a tie, so far.” He crossed his arms.   
  
\- “I know. But we still have our shift to make a difference. May the winner win.”   
  
\- “God, you don’t even know how to talk.” Steve looked pissed off. Maybe he was feeling threatened.   
  
\- “And you don’t even know how to stop looking gorgeous.” He wiggled his eyebrows, and made his way towards his desk. Once sat, they continued to just stare at each other, until Clint decided to get up on a chair.   
  
\- “Alright alright alright. The bet is almost to its ends, gentlemen.. And ladies, I guess. So what about a celebration ? Tonight.” He was met with agreements, and seemed pleased. “Good. See you after the shift.” He got out of the chair.   
  
They looked at each other. And Tony simply jumped out of his chair, at the same time as Steve. He started running towards Fury office. But since Steve was quick too, he tried and threw things at him.   
  
\- “Pen !” In his face, yes ! “Chair !” He grabbed the one just vacated by Clint and threw it at his legs. “Darcy’s desk !” He made a mess of the papers lying around on said desk.   
  
\- “Oh c’mon, Tony..” Darcy said, looking at the scattered paper.   
  
But she was ignored, since he managed to get into the office, and closed the door right on Rogers face. He would win the bet. He simply wouldn’t, couldn’t lose. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  
\- “It’s simple, Rogers… I’m just a better detective than you.” He shrugged, carelessly.  
  
\- “You’re not. Stop boasting.” Steve was glaring at him.   
  
\- “Wanna bet ?”   
  
\- “Fine ! What are we betting on ? And don’t say money.”   
  
\- “Wasn’t going to.” Money was a touchy subject for him. Not that Rogers would know anything about it. “I’ll bet whatever, ‘cause I just know already I’ll win.” He smirked at him.   
  
\- “What about your car ?” Natasha asked, smiling knowingly. Because of course, Natasha knew everything.   
  
\- “You can’t bet your car !” Clint whined. “It’s too beautiful to be in the hands of Steve, I saw you drive !”   
  
\- “Like you’re better, Barton.” Rogers muttered.   
  
\- “And besides, it’s a date-magnet. It’s impressive, it’s sexy…”   
  
\- “Like I need the car.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll bet the car. Once again, it’s not like I’m going to lose anything.”

\- “Losing this car would be the worst thing, Tony. The worst.”   
  
\- “And what’s the worst thing for you, Steve ?” Darcy drawled, amused by the whole situation. She was amused by pretty much everything, anyway.   
  
\- “Being one of the dates in said car.” Steve shrugged. And okay, hurtful. A bit.   
  
\- “Fine. Let’s bet the car, against a date.” Tony rose a brow, challenging.   
  
\- “Fine.” Steve said, not backing down.   
  
\- “I’ll be your referee.” Said Bruce, smiling at their antics. “Just shake on it.”   
  
\- “Ready to lose, Rogers ?”   
  
\- “Ask yourself that question, Stark.”   
  
They shook hands. Steve had a mean grip. But Tony simply winked.  
  
\- “Alright. Winner’s the one with the most felony arrest. Good luck.”   
  
\- “Won’t need it.” Tony grinned a bit more.

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

That had been a year ago. And today, it was going to end.   
  


-”I won't give you any case today, Stark, because there are none. I know you want to win your bet, but I can’t, and won’t help you.”   
  
\- “Will you help Rogers ?” Tony was squinting at Fury with suspicion.   
  
\- “There aren’t any new cases. And I forbid you both to annoy any colleagues, or even ask them for help. It’s your dumb bet, it doesn’t concern anyone.”   
  
\- “Fine !” He threw his hands in the air. “And for your information, Bruce already forbade them to help us, since he’s the referee, who cares about your orders !” He blinked. “I meant that with respect, Sir. I’ll just go.”   
  
He left the office quickly, and threw a look at Steve, who was just glaring at him.   
  
\- “An advice pal, don’t go in there. He’s pissed off.”   
  
Steve took his chance and went in. He quickly went out, though, a bit pink behind the ears. Tony had warned him.

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  
He rushed in with a guy in handcuffs.   
  
\- “Let me introduce you to David Stanford ! He stole 3000 dollars, I arrested him, thus taken the lead with one minute to spare !” He looked positively triumphant.   
  
\- “Oh no.” Tony finally looked up from a paper on his desk, a small smile on his face.  
  
\- “That’s right, oh no, I w-.. Oh no, why aren’t you worried ? You should be worried !” 

\- “Bring in the Johns !” He screamed, toward beat cops who indeed, bring forward a whole lot of perps. “ I ran a prostitution sting through vice and arrested 30 guys for soliciting.” He said, proud of himself, and Steve, who was gaping, tried to save himself.  
  
\- “That’s not a felony !” It wasn’t part of their bet. He was cheating.   
  
\- “It is, if it’s your second offense.. Which is the case for 10 of these gentlemen.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “And some are actually named John, which is funny, isn’t ?”   
  
\- “That’s not happening..” He couldn’t lose. He couldn’t go on a date with Stark.   
  
\- “Anyway, 10 more for me, accept your fate…”  
  
\- “Never.” He shook his head, trying to look at Bruce, their referee, for him to maybe stop the thing, but he only looked amused.   
  
\- “Five… Four… Three..” Began counting down Stark, looking at his watch with the biggest grin. The whole squad assembled, and Clint even bringed the board where the score had been updated.   
  
\- “No.. No..”

\- “Two… One !” With an enormous smile, he got a speaker out of under his desk and “Celebrate” began playing. “Tony wins, Steve loses !”   
  
  
Some of them popped crackers full of confetti, and began dancing, while Clint flipped the board and showed a big “STARK WINS”. Tony pointed at it, screaming “Look !” and dance awkwardly toward Steve, a small box in hand. As if it wasn’t embarrassing enough, he got on one knee and opened said box.  
  
  
\- “Rogers. I spent a full dollar on this. Will you go on the worst date with me ? You have to say yes.” He wiggled his brows. Steve tried to look at Bruce for a way out. Bruce only shook his head, smiling softly.  
  
\- “Yes.” He muttered.  
  
\- “He said YES !” Tony said, getting up and throwing the box at him. Everyone laughed and clapped.

  
It was the worst day in existence for Steve. In his humble opinion. (Okay, maybe he was exaggerating, but not by much.) And watching Tony laughed and dance like a dork wasn’t adorable, it was just the worst.

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  
The suit was itchy, and he hated it. He truly, really, hated it.   
  
  
\- “Do I really have to wear this, Stark ?”   
  
\- “Well, my dear Steve, yes. Because it’s an exact replica of the suit every football guy I ever had a crush on wore to prom, or homecoming. And it suits you.” He grinned, opening his car door. And he was almost sure to hear Tony say “And blue really is your color” before he closed the door.

  
  
Steve was always surprised about Tony’s car. He was the son of a rich, super rich dude. He was probably rich too. But no, his car was an old one, and not even a “vintage” one, just an old one. It was still a pretty sweet car, he wasn’t going to lie, but still. Not something Steve would expect of Tony Stark.   
  
  
\- “So. We’ll just go to the bar real quick, so I can show you off to the squad, then to a nice restaurant where everyone will think I’ll propose and just look at us the entire time, then we’ll see.”   
  
  
Steve actually was afraid of the worst, so he didn’t say anything. They took off, and when they arrived at the bar, they were cheered by the whole team.   
  
  
\- “Looking good, Steve.” Natasha mocked him. He only glared at her. Clint whistled, and Steve wished he could strangle the man.   
  
\- “Yes, Natasha, my date does look good.” Tony smiled, preening in all the attention. It was almost cute. But he wasn’t. Because he was being a jerk, since he raised his voice to be sure everyone looked at him.   
  
\- “Permission to go to the bathroom ?” He said, ironically. Tony chuckled and went his way. The night was going to be terrible, he thought, as he went toward the bathroom. But also maybe a bit fun.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Not a Doctor !)
> 
> Take care !


	6. The Bet (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anddddddd here we go for the second part !!

He crashed right next to Bruce, smiling.   
  
\- “Hey Bruce. Glad to see you have made it out on this outing. Sorry to not be able to stay, I have a terrible night for Steve scheduled so…”   
  
\- “You know, Tony, you should just tell him you like him.” The man was smiling softly, and took a sip of his drink.   
  
\- “The fuck ?” The words came out of his mouth without any filter, since his brain seemed to be shutting down. Him ? Liking Steve Rogers ?   
  
\- “Tony, do you know why little boys pull little girl’s pigtails ?”   
  
\- “Because they are annoying little pricks ?” He raised an eyebrow.   
  
\- “Because they like the little girls, but don’t know how to say it. All of this, is your elaborate way to flirt.”   
  
\- “Stop saying shit, Brucie-bear, I’m wounded. I’m good at flirting. I don’t need to do that to flirt. And it’s not even flirting !”   
  
\- “Sure, keep believing that.” Bruce shrugged, but his smile suggested he wasn’t in any way convinced by what Tony was telling him. “But I know that deepdown, you like Steve. You like like him.   
  
\- “I do not like Steve !” He groaned, because oh my god, why did he have to say that outloud ? “See you later Bruce !” He got up and left. This was ridiculous.

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  
Everything was fine. They danced the awful Titanic jig, and only stopped because Steve was starting to look a little green. He offered him a cheap martini, and they were about to leave for the restaurant, when they got the call from Fury. They had to go do some surveillance, since one of their cases needed immediate attention and Fury “did not care for your stupid bet, Stark, that’s an order” so. Yeah. He was a bit fuming, but still. Their job was the priority. They parked, in a good view point of the drop off that was supposed to happen later tonight. It was a companionable silence between them (Okay, he was sulking, but still), when Steve opened his mouth.  
  


\- “I have to admit, I’m glad to be out of this suit. It was so hot.”  
  
\- “Yeah, it’s mostly plastic.” He smirked. “But not to worry, we’ll catch the perps and get on with the worst date of your life.”   
  
\- “Oh no, nothing can beat a date I had with a dentist.” Steve caught his eyes. “And I won’t tell that story. What was your worst date ever ?” Aw man.   
  
\- “Uh. I think it’s a 50 way-tie. Last girl I got out with cried when I said I was a gemini so…”   
  
\- “Ouch.” It seemed genuine. The silence started again, when some movements was made toward their target.  
  
\- “Can I ask you something ?” He nodded, looking through the binoculars. “Why mh.. Why are you so attached to your car ? It’s not even a fancy one. And she looks kind of.. Raggedy.”   
  
  
He frowned, and took out the binoculars from in front of his eyes to look at Steve. He wasn’t trying to make a joke, he was sincere. Oh well.  
  
  
\- “Well, because it’s my car, I worked on it a fair bit, and I would be pretty fucked if she died on me. And it’s a sweet car, even if it isn’t a fancy one.”   
  
  
Steve stayed silent. Rolling his eyes, Tony turned to face him a bit better, and saw he was looking puzzled.   
  


\- “Spit it out.” He ordered.   
  
\- “Can’t you just.. Get another car ?”   
  
\- “No. I’m pretty broke, Rogers.”   
  
\- “You are…”   
  
  
He had fairly enough of his conversation. So he did the next best thing, created a diversion.   
  
  
\- “Look, someone left that door open. If we get to the roof, we’ll be able to see them easier and not be as seen.”   
  
\- “Good.. Good plan.”   
  
  
They went up. Sat, in a bit more silence. But Tony hated silence so.  
  
  
\- “Grab the nuts in my stake-out bag, please.”   
  
\- “Your bag is 70% nuts…”  
  
\- “My stake-out food, leave me alone.” Steve chuckled. It was a nice sound. “Alright. Throw one.” He wiggled his eyebrows. Steve did, and he caught it. 

\- “Nice.”  
  
\- “Always.” He grabbed one peanut too, and threw it toward Steve. He missed really bad. “You’re very, really, lame.” He laughed. Steve did too. He was about to throw another one when his phone rang. “I’ll just get that.. Practice.” He got up to answer.  
  
  
Fury asked him if he wanted the relief team to come. Tony thought about the restaurant reservation, in a “nice place”, nice enough for everyone to think he would propose if he acted all lovey dovey (perfect to get Steve uncomfortable while still eating good food.). Well, at least he wouldn’t throw money into a fake date, he guessed.  
  
  
He told Fury they were good. Looking at Steve throwing peanuts into his mouth, he thought that maybe, he wanted to see how the night would go.   
  
He got back to Steve.   
  
\- “What did Fury want ?”   
  
\- “Updates. Any progress ?” He smirked. And watched as Steve took a handful of peanuts and threw them in the air, caughting by miracle 2 of them. He laughed. “You’re terrible.”   
  
\- “Am not.” He laughed too. His eyes were pretty, when he laughed.   
  


*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  
\- “What would you have done with my car, if you would have won ?”   
  
\- “Learn to drive stick.” He laughed, at the face Tony made. He had actually no idea what he would have done with it. In any case, he had lost.   
  
\- “Wait look.” Tony stopped laughing, and pointed at the truck who had just pulled out. “We need to get close, to arrest them.”   
  
\- “How ?”  
  
\- “I have an idea…”   
  
  
They made their way down, and he decided to just follow Tony’s lead. And his lead was to act angry and annoyed. Well he could do that, he thought, while crossing his arms and following him.   
  
  
\- “Uh, excuse me sir,” Tony said, while approaching one of the two men discharging the truck.

\- “Uh, you’re not supposed to be here…” The guy tried to stop them.

\- “My boyfriend here thinks we’re lost-” he said, gesturing toward Steve. He cut him quickly.  
  
\- “No, I know we’re lost ! I think you’re an idiot !” He said, sharp while pointing at Tony without looking at him.   
  
\- “Idiot ?!”   
  
\- “Hey calm down..” The guy tried another time.   
  
\- “You know why we’re out here in the middle of the night, Grant ?!” Tony put so much emphasis on Grant, Steve regretted telling him his middle name. “I was going to propose to you !” He almost yelled, taking a ring box out of his pocket. If Steve hadn’t been this focused, he would have asked why the hell he had that on him. Instead, he gasped. “On the Manhattan Bridge where we met !”   
  
\- “Manhattan Bridge ? We met on the Brooklyn Bridge !” He seemed focused on Tony, but from the corner of his eye he noticed the second guy coming in and watching them.   
  
\- “Alright fine, you know what ? This is over !” Tony almost yelled. “Say goodbye to the ring and everything it represents !” And he threw the box away. He heard the two guys gasp.   
  
\- “Hey !” Tried the first. “Just stop yelling !”   
  
\- “No one talks to Grant like that !” Tony said, and the both of them got their guns out. It was a masterpiece of synchronisation. “NYPD !” They said at the same time. “You’re under arrest.”   
  
\- “Good work.” Tony said, smiling.   
  
\- “You too.” Steve said, finding himself smiling equally. They done good.   
  
\- “I’m sad yall arrested me… But I gotta say, I’m glad you back together.” The first guy said. The second nodded. He exchanged a look with Tony, and tried not to burst out laughing. 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

  
  
The next day, Steve went to report to Fury. And blinked like an idiot when Fury said they did good while refusing the relief team. He hadn’t even knew Fury had suggested a relief team.   
  
He went to find Tony, still writing the arrest report, and sat in front of him.  
  
\- “Sorry you didn’t get your full win. Guess it’s one more bad date.”   
  
\- “Nah, it goes on the good dates list.” Steve opened his mouth, and Tony finally looked at him, smiling. “Only ‘cause we caught the bad guys.” He winked.   
  
\- “Of course. That’s very mature of you.”  
  
\- “I’m a very mature man.” He pretended to dust his shoulder. Steve shook his head. 

\- “Sure thing, Tony.” They made a great team.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Not a doctor !)
> 
> Take care !

**Author's Note:**

> (Not a doctor !) (if you know, you know)
> 
> Take care !


End file.
